What the h-e-double hockey sticks?

I am brainwashed.

It has taken me eighteen years to realize it, and now I've realized I can finally think for myself! Yay!

And now I've realized that all the things I've realized are really.. negative.

Which begs the question..

Am I opening my mind or just becoming more critical?

(Notice: I have used the word realize at least four times in this short post. I hope my essays don't look like this. Actually.. they kind of do.)

i am such a dakkhan.

ok so i took this urdu class to learn how to write urdu.. I HAD GOOD INTENTIONS!!! but i find my innocence being ravaged by the urdu epithet-queens of the west! i mean, i might ask for it, but they dont HAVE to tell me... do they.

soo so far:
i can cuss out your mom and sister
i know how to say you're an idiot a hundred different ways: (dakkhan, bonga, duffer)
some weird synonym for paagal from farah that sounds like bird but apparently means psycho. maybe its a flighty psycho, and hence the bird reference?

and i watch weirdo vids like this: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=cdd_1230239811

they rot the mind, i tell you.

haha- they said

Older people love telling you how the world "really is". I don't know why, but they somehow have this sadistic desire to dash your fantastical hopes into the ground and bring you into this dark place they call "reality" in which older people proceed to form VERY boring, predictable, and completely career obsessed circadian rhythms. They tell you to grow up and "get a life". They use words that should be in air quotations without air quotations. They like to nod aimlessly and make shallow and meaningless conversation. They enjoy pleasant activities like taking strolls and reading quietly beside the fire. They try to convince themselves that they are happy.

They are, in fact, not.

Don't grow up. Please.

I ammmmmmmmmm turrrd.

What's up with 1 in the morning and this urgent need to blog post? It could be about nothing.. in fact it will be about nothing because I am thinking nothing because my brain is empty because it's 1 in the morning. So I have a million things to do ALREADY on my fall "break".. demolish my room, contemplate the end of the world, get the dry cleaning.. oh right so I still have my feet on the ground, so to speak. Gotta get cracking, jeeznits.
So I find myself and my mouth increasingly offensive around Sumayah. She's already picked up "Dangggggggggg", and she repeated jeeznits the other day (actually she kinda didn't know what I was saying so it came out more as a garbled "Jesus" with a question mark. Which is worse I will never know) but thankfully no one heard that.. haha. um or did they. But she probably forgot it already.. right?

Chalkboard paint. Meds. Car charger. Dry cleaners. Gym. Sparkly things? Bag. Shawl. Kitchen. Life.

I'm a big girl now..

So, apparently I'm in college. I mean, that's what people keep telling me. What does that mean, exactly? No more Hello Kitty bandaids? I have to get over my Dora obsession? I have to be potty trained...?

...

Not an option.

OR MAYBE!!!

oooook I'm trying to think at maturity level.

...I have to pee.

Kids say the darndest things, pt 1

I think I'm gonna make this an installment piece, as I remember things I'll post them eventually. But kids say funny things like a million times a day so it's hard to remember particular instances.. here's just a few of the "gems" (be afraid)
Funny things my nieces/nephews say:

Me: Ok Sumayah sit on the toilet, Dadi is coming soon

Ami: Why can't you wash her? All of your sisters used to wash you, uptil you were seven years old! Tumhe sharam nehi aati?

Me: Eww Ami I am NOT washing anyone, plus what if I do it wrong?? Then you'll have a rashy Sumayah, and all because you made me wash her

Sumayah: Amna Phupho WASH ME!!

Two days later...

Sumayah: Mujhe pishi arehihain!

Rabea: Ok Amna take her

Me: Uh...

Rabea: Just do it, okay?

Sumayah: DO IT! WASH ME!

Kids these days.

---

Saliha: "You go, girl!"

Sumayah: "No, YOU go girl!"

---

Safia is sarcastically yelling at me for something or other..
Luqman: Mama NO don't be mean to Amna Khala! I DONT LIKE IT! *Starts crying*
Me: *laughing* It's okay Luqman, really..
Luqman: DON'T LAUGH AT ME!

---

Me: DAAAAAAAAAAAANGGGGGGG.
Sumayah: DAAAAAAAAAAAAANGGGGGGG.
Me: *slap forehead and look around guiltily*
Bhabhi: Yeah that's right. I heard that.
Me: oops.

---

Luqman: I don't want gandhi pizza! (Cheese that is slightly brown is "gandhi" to him, i.e. dirty. That child is getting better alhumdulillah, but mannn was he OCD)

---

Me: Hadiya what are you doing?
Hadiya: No.
Me: Hadiya are you playing with the doll?
Hadiya: No.
Me: Do you like the doll?
Hadiya: No.
Me: Hadiya why are you saying no?
Hadiya: No.
Me: Ok...
Hadiya: No.

---

Zakariya: somethingsomething WUSHU! *grabs my finger*
Me: huh
Zakariya: WUSHU!
Me: what
Me: OHHH haha wushu finger hold! BOOM!

---

Hadiya is speaking "pushto" on the phone.
Me: what
Hadiya: 0395h23tuon gao9aghwe0ghwrgounadf
Me: huh
Hadiya: oiwh3t89awengwegh89wet0[93
Me: i dont get it
Hadiya: woejtngwaoeinwoeg9
Me: *silence* ok. thats nice.
Rabea: SHES TELLING YOU ABOUT HER PURSE
Me: How am I supposed to know that?
Rabea: I don't know.
Me: oooooook then.

---

Hadiya: aaakaakaahoo
("Pushto" for "what are you eating". This is Hadiya's signature catchphrase. We should make t-shirts.)

---


oh dem chillen.

blogging

i have this silly subconscious fancy that blogging is all about finding yourself or something.  it is pretty powerful, being a kind of online diary.. empowering b/c you know everyone CAN see it, but you still try to convince yourself it's "private" so you can talk about stuff you never knew you even wanted to talk about. 

well, it is my blog.  i might as well. 

Weighty blog topic #1: What's the meaning of life? 

Ohhhhhhh. I'll pass.