blogging

i have this silly subconscious fancy that blogging is all about finding yourself or something.  it is pretty powerful, being a kind of online diary.. empowering b/c you know everyone CAN see it, but you still try to convince yourself it's "private" so you can talk about stuff you never knew you even wanted to talk about. 

well, it is my blog.  i might as well. 

Weighty blog topic #1: What's the meaning of life? 

Ohhhhhhh. I'll pass. 

Paindoo

I am in love with this word.  Saying this word 5 times fast while simultaneously spinning around counterclockwise whilst balancing a budgie on the tip of your nose is sure to summon me to your aid.  Oh and my pretend village, farm animals, and talwar will also be at your command.  Try it. 

In the spirit of one Saliha "sallybunker" Gul Baloch, who often said, "Abu's gone. Gotta act like him." 

So, 

"Sally's gone.  Life is like a box of chocolates.  Except they are all mint chocolate chocolates.  And I know what I'm gettin." 

Sometimes I wonder how my brain justifies my trains of thought.  It's like the little cars are cuttin each other and cuttin each other, and you miss some of em along the way, and its like.. DANG I'm in the engine room already! And this place is MESSED UP! 

But I love messed up...

Oh go back into the frying pan, Peter.

hi again

spamming your own blog is okay... right? 

recent junkamagabalousiousity going on: 

- DARK KNIGHT! - Heath Ledger made that movie.  Christian, sorry bud.  You just ended up in jail. Ledger might be gone. But he was good. 

- Sally is in India.  I'm kinda expecting a half deformed vegetable when she comes back.  All that brainwashing, mixed with the really unique fresh air you can only find in India (freshly burned corpses and day old urine! OMG I wanna go too!) .. why she just yelled "Jai Hind" in the phone at me yesterday! Or was it "i got a tind"? And I definitely got a txt saying "Yo amni whats ooper" the other day. pAiNdOooOooOo .  Btw if she comes back typing with alternating caps letters, I'm taking her car. (I have my own but still.  It's a matter of conscience). She can ride on a haathi. Paindoo is as paindoo does. 

oh those gorays

stuffwhitepeoplelike.com 

if you could compile all of the little societal.. what do we call them? idiosyncrasies? finess...es? those things that we could only take for granted. norms? oh, "societal norms". that one is REAL original. ok well if you could get all of those, and stuff em into one site, this would be it.  except i kinda take offense at one thing: i like a lot of that stuff too.  

am i a gora wannabe? 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! 

GORA PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, BEWARE! I NOW FULLY COMPREHEND YOUR ENTIRE PSYCHE.  YOUR STATE OF MIND!!! IT LIES WITHIN ME!! I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW

wow i scare myself sometimes

How can you NOT care?

Have you ever read The Stranger? Let me tell you, it's one of the most disturbing books I've ever read.  I don't think I even got through the whole thing.  But still.  I have read some pretty disturbing things too.  Gory murders, people turned into lard, child abuse.. and yet...

How can people not care about things? I think to a certain level I understand.. I mean up til a few hundred years ago people actually had to work work to make a living, and they didn't have the luxury to just do things.  In The Stranger, Meursault just does things.  He lives.  He's almost like a parasite, just living off the infrastructure that other men have built up.  He's a bum living a bum life and basically he decides nothing matters.  He gets engaged, kills a man, and gets pushed around by other people because he will do anything people tell him to do.  And in the end, the guy who believes nothing matters dies for his own freaking cause! Doesn't that mean that he believes something really DOES matter? Nihilism is a cause in and of itself, is it not? 

Apathy bugs me.  It digs deeper than violence.  It digs deeper than.. evil.  It's like an evil unto itself.  I don't get it.  I don't want to get it.  I don't want to live in a world without right and wrong.  I like rules.  I like morals.  I like believing my life will be worth something, in the end.  

I wonder if Meursault cried as a child.  

Unsolicited Advice

I don't like unsolicited advice. Or happy people.

Top Five:
5. People who tell me a million different ways I'm gonna get cancer. (*cough*RABEA*cough*) I might live a carcinogenic lifestyle, but SO DO YOU. Should I stop breathing? Wait, lemme see you try that first.
4. People who try to correct the way I do things. Namely everyday things, like cleaning tea cups or washing sheets. If I don't want bath mats, I don't want bath mats. Can I tell you a secret? It's not your bathroom! WHOOPEEE!
3. People who tell me to smile. Like that Saudi guy in the airport. I'm not gonna smile at you, buddy. Maybe you haven't realized this.. but I might be wearing a distant, aloof, and slightly disgusted expression in the airport because of people like YOU.
2. People who are happy ALL the time. It's scary. Plus I'm not sure it's 100% organic.
1. People who try to give me random fatwas about things. Don't look at the kaba? Hmm, it's only the big black thing that I seem to be circumambulating, but hey, I'll give it a try...


I think I'm a happy person... most of the time.