I ammmmmmmmmm turrrd.

What's up with 1 in the morning and this urgent need to blog post? It could be about nothing.. in fact it will be about nothing because I am thinking nothing because my brain is empty because it's 1 in the morning. So I have a million things to do ALREADY on my fall "break".. demolish my room, contemplate the end of the world, get the dry cleaning.. oh right so I still have my feet on the ground, so to speak. Gotta get cracking, jeeznits.
So I find myself and my mouth increasingly offensive around Sumayah. She's already picked up "Dangggggggggg", and she repeated jeeznits the other day (actually she kinda didn't know what I was saying so it came out more as a garbled "Jesus" with a question mark. Which is worse I will never know) but thankfully no one heard that.. haha. um or did they. But she probably forgot it already.. right?

Chalkboard paint. Meds. Car charger. Dry cleaners. Gym. Sparkly things? Bag. Shawl. Kitchen. Life.

I'm a big girl now..

So, apparently I'm in college. I mean, that's what people keep telling me. What does that mean, exactly? No more Hello Kitty bandaids? I have to get over my Dora obsession? I have to be potty trained...?

...

Not an option.

OR MAYBE!!!

oooook I'm trying to think at maturity level.

...I have to pee.

Kids say the darndest things, pt 1

I think I'm gonna make this an installment piece, as I remember things I'll post them eventually. But kids say funny things like a million times a day so it's hard to remember particular instances.. here's just a few of the "gems" (be afraid)
Funny things my nieces/nephews say:

Me: Ok Sumayah sit on the toilet, Dadi is coming soon

Ami: Why can't you wash her? All of your sisters used to wash you, uptil you were seven years old! Tumhe sharam nehi aati?

Me: Eww Ami I am NOT washing anyone, plus what if I do it wrong?? Then you'll have a rashy Sumayah, and all because you made me wash her

Sumayah: Amna Phupho WASH ME!!

Two days later...

Sumayah: Mujhe pishi arehihain!

Rabea: Ok Amna take her

Me: Uh...

Rabea: Just do it, okay?

Sumayah: DO IT! WASH ME!

Kids these days.

---

Saliha: "You go, girl!"

Sumayah: "No, YOU go girl!"

---

Safia is sarcastically yelling at me for something or other..
Luqman: Mama NO don't be mean to Amna Khala! I DONT LIKE IT! *Starts crying*
Me: *laughing* It's okay Luqman, really..
Luqman: DON'T LAUGH AT ME!

---

Me: DAAAAAAAAAAAANGGGGGGG.
Sumayah: DAAAAAAAAAAAAANGGGGGGG.
Me: *slap forehead and look around guiltily*
Bhabhi: Yeah that's right. I heard that.
Me: oops.

---

Luqman: I don't want gandhi pizza! (Cheese that is slightly brown is "gandhi" to him, i.e. dirty. That child is getting better alhumdulillah, but mannn was he OCD)

---

Me: Hadiya what are you doing?
Hadiya: No.
Me: Hadiya are you playing with the doll?
Hadiya: No.
Me: Do you like the doll?
Hadiya: No.
Me: Hadiya why are you saying no?
Hadiya: No.
Me: Ok...
Hadiya: No.

---

Zakariya: somethingsomething WUSHU! *grabs my finger*
Me: huh
Zakariya: WUSHU!
Me: what
Me: OHHH haha wushu finger hold! BOOM!

---

Hadiya is speaking "pushto" on the phone.
Me: what
Hadiya: 0395h23tuon gao9aghwe0ghwrgounadf
Me: huh
Hadiya: oiwh3t89awengwegh89wet0[93
Me: i dont get it
Hadiya: woejtngwaoeinwoeg9
Me: *silence* ok. thats nice.
Rabea: SHES TELLING YOU ABOUT HER PURSE
Me: How am I supposed to know that?
Rabea: I don't know.
Me: oooooook then.

---

Hadiya: aaakaakaahoo
("Pushto" for "what are you eating". This is Hadiya's signature catchphrase. We should make t-shirts.)

---


oh dem chillen.

blogging

i have this silly subconscious fancy that blogging is all about finding yourself or something.  it is pretty powerful, being a kind of online diary.. empowering b/c you know everyone CAN see it, but you still try to convince yourself it's "private" so you can talk about stuff you never knew you even wanted to talk about. 

well, it is my blog.  i might as well. 

Weighty blog topic #1: What's the meaning of life? 

Ohhhhhhh. I'll pass. 

Paindoo

I am in love with this word.  Saying this word 5 times fast while simultaneously spinning around counterclockwise whilst balancing a budgie on the tip of your nose is sure to summon me to your aid.  Oh and my pretend village, farm animals, and talwar will also be at your command.  Try it. 

In the spirit of one Saliha "sallybunker" Gul Baloch, who often said, "Abu's gone. Gotta act like him." 

So, 

"Sally's gone.  Life is like a box of chocolates.  Except they are all mint chocolate chocolates.  And I know what I'm gettin." 

Sometimes I wonder how my brain justifies my trains of thought.  It's like the little cars are cuttin each other and cuttin each other, and you miss some of em along the way, and its like.. DANG I'm in the engine room already! And this place is MESSED UP! 

But I love messed up...

Oh go back into the frying pan, Peter.

hi again

spamming your own blog is okay... right? 

recent junkamagabalousiousity going on: 

- DARK KNIGHT! - Heath Ledger made that movie.  Christian, sorry bud.  You just ended up in jail. Ledger might be gone. But he was good. 

- Sally is in India.  I'm kinda expecting a half deformed vegetable when she comes back.  All that brainwashing, mixed with the really unique fresh air you can only find in India (freshly burned corpses and day old urine! OMG I wanna go too!) .. why she just yelled "Jai Hind" in the phone at me yesterday! Or was it "i got a tind"? And I definitely got a txt saying "Yo amni whats ooper" the other day. pAiNdOooOooOo .  Btw if she comes back typing with alternating caps letters, I'm taking her car. (I have my own but still.  It's a matter of conscience). She can ride on a haathi. Paindoo is as paindoo does. 

oh those gorays

stuffwhitepeoplelike.com 

if you could compile all of the little societal.. what do we call them? idiosyncrasies? finess...es? those things that we could only take for granted. norms? oh, "societal norms". that one is REAL original. ok well if you could get all of those, and stuff em into one site, this would be it.  except i kinda take offense at one thing: i like a lot of that stuff too.  

am i a gora wannabe? 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! 

GORA PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, BEWARE! I NOW FULLY COMPREHEND YOUR ENTIRE PSYCHE.  YOUR STATE OF MIND!!! IT LIES WITHIN ME!! I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW

wow i scare myself sometimes